Week Two of the Lurch Rambach Show

Lance and Jody mingle thru
a rather dull protest crowd.

Lance
Honeeeeeeeeeey, I thought that this was an animal protest thing.

Jody
We don't go to them anymore. When we do, you pester me about getting body piercing and tatoos for a week.

Lance
That's hot. This is not.

Jody
Not everything in life has to result in an erection. You've been hanging around with Binge too long. This is good that you get out, talk with people went to college, who can spell college, or even knows what they are. Kind gentle people. People who make humanity seem worthy of a second chance...

Jody is interrupted in an
instance by Binge. Out of
the blue he has his hand
on Lance's shoulder.

Binge
DUDE! Wazzup? Got anything to smoke? Oh, Hi, Jody. Huh?

Jody
What the FROG are you doing at a woman's rally?

Binge
Jody. I am hurt that you would think so low of me. Can't I TOO be sympathetic to my brother...uhm, sisters.

Jody
Be honest.

Jody gives Binge
a mother like look.

Binge
Ok, sometimes you catch short-haired chicks making out.

Jody
God! How come I always know him?

Lance to Binge
REALLY? WHERE?

Jody
I married a child.

Lance and Binge in unison
REALLY? THAT'S HOT!

Jody realizes others
in the crowd are listening
to the strange blather.

Jody
You both will pay dearly I promise.

Lurch Rambach
So let's go back just before Democracy's abortion. A Nation of disillusioned and scared problem solvers, turn to the internet to choose their leaders. YouTube has replaced rational thought. A cult video crusade candidate captures an element in America that neither parties even knew existed. We've both have been knee-capped. Ok, sure power has gone to the people, but are they the right kind of people?

Rally: Madam Double-Vision,
town psychic and event orginizer
runs up in a dramatic panic.

Madam Double-Vision
I'm glad to find you two. One of the speakers didn't get here yet. Could one of you step up and talk to the crowd?

Lance and Jody
HA! NO!

Madam Double-Vision
Oh, PLEASE?

Binge
I will, only if it involves wet T-shirts.

Lance and Jody snicker
like stoned kids.

Madam Double-Vision
Why are you even here?

Binge
Entertainment.

Madam Double-Vision
Didn't I predict that you two were going to get married?

Jody
Yea, you made that prediction at our engagement party.

Madam Double-Vision
Came true, didn't it? You two are married now because I encouraged it. You owe me.

Lance
Find someone else.

Jody elbows Lance

Jody
I double-dog dare you.

Lance
OW! I don't believe you double-dogged me on this.

Jody
I told you I'd get it back.

Lance
What do you want me to talk about?

Madam Double-Vision
Just say anything I might agree with.

Lance
Want me to talk about the Constitution? I did an oral report on it in the eight grade. Got an A.

Madam Double-Vision
Ok, sounds good. Talk about the Constitution and why we should get rid of it.

Lance starts pacing across
the small temporary stage like
a stand up on crank.

Lance
WE THE PEOPLE.... Not we the government, not we the politicly elite families. Not we the banks, we the corporate. It wasn't witten for the power of the one's in Washington. The constition is there for our power, our rights...

Crowd
(Half hearted cheers)

Lance
The founding Fathers weren't a bunch of stuff shirt politicians. The were smart revolutionaries. The John Lennons and Abby Hoffmans of thier times. They hung out with dudes who were decapitating royalty back in Europe. George Washington said "Hmmm, wer'e not doing the head thing. We'll use lawyers."

Crowd
(cheers).

Jody Yells
Why don't you run for prsident?

Crowd
(WILD CHEERS)

Lance
You want me to run?

Crowd
YEA! Cheers

Lance (like a rock star)
I couldn't hear you. Do you want me to run?

Crowd
Very Loud Cheer

Madam Double Vision
PICK A RUNNING MATE!

Madam D starts to primp.

Lance
ANY one of you could do a better job than a lawyer! ANY random choice would be qualified for Vice President than a slimy lawyer! The next person to walk out of the port-a-potty will be my running mate.

A silence falls over the crowd.

Lance crosses the tiny stage
peers to port-a-john. The handle
jiggles, door sticks, handle
franticly jiggles. Door pops open,
Binge peers out, all eyes are on him.
Look of paranoia crosses his face.

Suddenly the crowd bursts into cheers.

Lance motions Binge onto stage.
A confused looking Binge declines.
A woman waiting in line for port-a-squat,
goes in, a shriek is heard.

Woman
EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, A man was in here!

Binge darts a look to john,
leaps up on stage to evade accusers.

Lance
Congrats Binge, your'e my running mate.

Confused Binge
Uh, no way man. That sounds like excersize.

Lance
You've been nominated for Vice President

Binge
VICE? Ok, count me in.

Crowd
Cheers

Binge
You didn't sign me up for community action group did you?

Lance
(Laughs) No man! They want us to be President and Vice President!

Binge
Of what?

Lurch Rambach
OF WHAT? The greatest nation in the history of the human race YOU DOLT! The next thing you know these two are popping up all over the internet. Some sort of Beatnik-Populist rhetoric with the bumbling antics of Hope and Crosby "On the Road to Washington." Let me correct myself, it's more like Martin and Lewis, or Cheech and Chong ran for President.

...................................................................................................................................Week Two
Come back next week for more Bi-Partison offence!		Lance and Jody mingle thru a rather dull protest crowd. Lance Honeeeeeeeeeey, I thought that this was an animal protest thing. Jody We don't go to them anymore. When we do, you pester me about getting body piercing and tatoos for a week. Lance That's hot. This is not. Jody Not everything in life has to result in an erection. You've been hanging around with Binge too long. This is good that you get out, talk with people went to college, who can spell college, or even knows what they are. Kind gentle people. People who make humanity seem worthy of a second chance... Jody is interrupted in an instance by Binge. Out of the blue he has his hand on Lance's shoulder. Binge DUDE! Wazzup? Got anything to smoke? Oh, Hi, Jody. Huh? Jody What the FROG are you doing at a woman's rally? Binge Jody. I am hurt that you would think so low of me. Can't I TOO be sympathetic to my brother...uhm, sisters. Jody Be honest. Jody gives Binge a mother like look. Binge Ok, sometimes you catch short-haired chicks making out. Jody God! How come I always know him? Lance to Binge REALLY? WHERE? Jody I married a child. Lance and Binge in unison REALLY? THAT'S HOT! Jody realizes others in the crowd are listening to the strange blather. Jody You both will pay dearly I promise. Lurch Rambach So let's go back just before Democracy's abortion. A Nation of disillusioned and scared problem solvers, turn to the internet to choose their leaders. YouTube has replaced rational thought. A cult video crusade candidate captures an element in America that neither parties even knew existed. We've both have been knee-capped. Ok, sure power has gone to the people, but are they the right kind of people? Rally: Madam Double-Vision, town psychic and event orginizer runs up in a dramatic panic. Madam Double-Vision I'm glad to find you two. One of the speakers didn't get here yet. Could one of you step up and talk to the crowd? Lance and Jody HA! NO! Madam Double-Vision Oh, PLEASE? Binge I will, only if it involves wet T-shirts. Lance and Jody snicker like stoned kids. Madam Double-Vision Why are you even here? Binge Entertainment. Madam Double-Vision Didn't I predict that you two were going to get married? Jody Yea, you made that prediction at our engagement party. Madam Double-Vision Came true, didn't it? You two are married now because I encouraged it. You owe me. Lance Find someone else. Jody elbows Lance Jody I double-dog dare you. Lance OW! I don't believe you double-dogged me on this. Jody I told you I'd get it back. Lance What do you want me to talk about? Madam Double-Vision Just say anything I might agree with. Lance Want me to talk about the Constitution? I did an oral report on it in the eight grade. Got an A. Madam Double-Vision Ok, sounds good. Talk about the Constitution and why we should get rid of it. Lance starts pacing across the small temporary stage like a stand up on crank. Lance WE THE PEOPLE.... Not we the government, not we the politicly elite families. Not we the banks, we the corporate. It wasn't witten for the power of the one's in Washington. The constition is there for our power, our rights... Crowd (Half hearted cheers) Lance The founding Fathers weren't a bunch of stuff shirt politicians. The were smart revolutionaries. The John Lennons and Abby Hoffmans of thier times. They hung out with dudes who were decapitating royalty back in Europe. George Washington said "Hmmm, wer'e not doing the head thing. We'll use lawyers." Crowd (cheers). Jody Yells Why don't you run for prsident? Crowd (WILD CHEERS) Lance You want me to run? Crowd YEA! Cheers Lance (like a rock star) I couldn't hear you. Do you want me to run? Crowd Very Loud Cheer Madam Double Vision PICK A RUNNING MATE! Madam D starts to primp. Lance ANY one of you could do a better job than a lawyer! ANY random choice would be qualified for Vice President than a slimy lawyer! The next person to walk out of the port-a-potty will be my running mate. A silence falls over the crowd. Lance crosses the tiny stage peers to port-a-john. The handle jiggles, door sticks, handle franticly jiggles. Door pops open, Binge peers out, all eyes are on him. Look of paranoia crosses his face. Suddenly the crowd bursts into cheers. Lance motions Binge onto stage. A confused looking Binge declines. A woman waiting in line for port-a-squat, goes in, a shriek is heard. Woman EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW, A man was in here! Binge darts a look to john, leaps up on stage to evade accusers. Lance Congrats Binge, your'e my running mate. Confused Binge Uh, no way man. That sounds like excersize. Lance You've been nominated for Vice President Binge VICE? Ok, count me in. Crowd Cheers Binge You didn't sign me up for community action group did you? Lance (Laughs) No man! They want us to be President and Vice President! Binge Of what? Lurch Rambach OF WHAT? The greatest nation in the history of the human race YOU DOLT! The next thing you know these two are popping up all over the internet. Some sort of Beatnik-Populist rhetoric with the bumbling antics of Hope and Crosby "On the Road to Washington." Let me correct myself, it's more like Martin and Lewis, or Cheech and Chong ran for President.


		*FANNIE SMAC* SPECIAL GUEST STAR EDWARD LIDDY of A.I.G. Read the BiNGE comic "Fannie Smac" A zany adventure about a C.E.O. spending BAIL-OUT money on sensitivity training sessions from the internet Dominatrix Athena DeCruelle. Binge gets a hold of some of the money and buys pizza for everyone.

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